Wen Ti

Just to ensure I don't explode, I'm going to vent a little, indirectly, by asking a few questions. They'll probably be so layered and convoluted that no one will know what kind of answers it is that I am looking for, which is my goal =D

So here goes:

Q #1 How do you vent pent up emotions and frustrations without offending anybody? And at the same time appeasing yourself?

Q #2 Why is this such a bad week?

Q #3 Why am I acting like an angsty teen with no idea of how much she has?

Q #4 Why do I keep caring when it is much healthier not to? And am I actually really being caring?

Q #5 How do you stop yourself from mentally referring to yourself as Bitch?

Q #6 How do you solve the problems concerning the people around you?

Q #7 How do you convince people that your crying is not so much a sign of weakness as it is a sign of minding too much?

Q #8 How do you tell yourself that shockhorrorgasp you cannot do it all? And what makes you think YOU are so special to the extent that YOU can do it all?

Q #9 How do you convince yourself that no one hates you? Perhaps they just feel seriously annoyed by you?

Q #10 How do you stop being so whiny and irritating?

Q #11 How do you go to the emotional place you thought you would be at two days ago when you were so anxious about your live radio show recording and so excited about the things that would follow after?

Q #12 How do you smack yourself in the face without letting people snigger at you for being more insane than you already are?


Okay, I don't know if that was as hard to decipher as I wanted it to be, and at the end of this I still feel very much on the verge. Obviously I am not a victim of a Nazi concentration camp, or an orphan, or a cripple, or a homosexual living in an Amish household, so I still don't know what true suffering really is. But somehow I still feel really bad.

One of these days I will have a personal shrink. Or maybe a few more once the first one gets sick and weary of my non existent self induced drama...